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Carbon 'sins' forgiven in BonnCFACT's Mother Earth sells carbon indulgences to UN climate delegatesApril 10, 2010 by CFACT
Delegates to the UN climate talks in Bonn entered their plenary session today holding indulgences absolving them of their carbon sins. Gaia the earth goddess, wearing her trademark green frock and crown of leaves welcomed the delegates and bestowed her indulgences. “Where are you from,” Gaia asked, “Indonesia? How did you arrive at the conference today?” “We flew in a plane,” the Indonesian delegate replied. “That plane emitted carbon,” Gaia explained, “you didn't breathe on board did you? More carbon!” After learning that most of the delegates had indeed arrived by plane, Gaia asked, “Have you been washing your clothes in a machine, or do you take them down to the river to wash by hand? Do you watch television? Use a computer? You don't refrigerate your food do you? Did you bring the food home in a car? All carbon sins! You're lucky I'm selling carbon indulgences today and I've brought free samples for all delegates.” The world's great religions long ago ended the practice of offering absolution in exchange for cash. In the global warming age, however, large emitters of carbon, such as former Vice President Al Gore (whose 20 room eight bathroom mansion in Nashville consumes as much power as twenty average Americans) claim to use “offsets.” Gore and the global warming elite have advocated purchasing carbon offsets which allow them to continue their rich lifestyles guilt free. They are also willing to sell these offsets to the rest of us. Gaia's indulgences printed by CFACT, The Committee for a Constructive Tomorrow, state, “This indulgence serves as a remittance for all your carbon sins. You are hereby forgiven for: flying where you choose, machine washed clothes, driving your vehicle, your computer and electronic conveniences, taking hot showers, exhaling carbon dioxide, making things in factories, growing food with tractors, eating meat, watching your favorite TV shows, refrigerated food, Edison's light bulb, air conditioning and heating and attending international conferences.” The disclaimer states, “Purchase of this indulgence absolves you from your guilt from living in a free, productive society. This indulgence will not meaningfully alter the weather, nor climate and is therefore the most honest carbon trading strategy you can find.” The indulgence is signed, Mother Earth, goddess du jour. Gaia has offered the rest of us a chance to download her carbon indulgences. They are available at www.CFACT.tv.
Comments
 2This is great political satire. I hope you will be present at Cancun, I can't wait to see this in person. Keep up the good work.
by Russttu | Tuesday, April 13, 2010 6:28:23 AM | Report Great job guys ... esp. Mother Earth. Can I get one of these indulgences too? I feel so, uh, guilty for living.
by crucker | Monday, April 12, 2010 6:10:56 AM | Report Read More
Eco-terrorism hits Maryland: 'Inconvenient Terrorist' latest in long lineAn Inconvenient TerroristAn ill wind in New JerseyPrepare for an ice age!Howard Stern: 'Bring back DDT!'New York's bedbugs vs. Africa's malaria crisisHow to save the Chesapeake Bay: Oysters vs. RegulationsNew ethanol policy poses heavy cost for consumersEmpowering the poor in the Yucatan jungleTarget: Monckton |
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U.S. meat production per acre has doubled since 1970, largely due to pesticides, veterinary chemistry, and better plant breeding... { from Giving up meat to Save the Planet? } How do you turn something as plentiful as grass into food? Feed it to cows and have a B.B.Q.! U.S. meat production per acre has doubled since 1970, largely due to pesticides, veterinary chemistry, and better plant breeding... { from Giving up meat to Save the Planet? } Scientific "consensus" and other shady sales tactics promote alarmist theories... { from Global warming bait-and-switch } Scientific "consensus" and other shady sales tactics promote alarmist theories... { from Global warming bait-and-switch } |
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Eco-terrorism hits Maryland: 'Inconvenient Terrorist' latest in long line
Inconvenient terrorist James Lee who was shot and killed by a SWAT team in the Discovery Channel Building in Silver Spring, Maryland, is the latest of a long line of eco-terrorists
An Inconvenient Terrorist
Armed eco-terrorist who experienced an “awakening” by watching Al Gore's Inconvenient Truth was shot and killed after storming Discovery Channel Building. Radical manifesto condemns 'parasitic children' and human civilization, calling for sterilization and giving the planet back to the squirrels.
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Proposed windmill would cost $7 million, stand taller than the Statue of Liberty, and when the wind isn't blowing would need to be kept turning with electricity from a traditional plant in order to avoid mechanical failure.
End environmental experiments on Africans!
Environmentalists are using African parents and children in anti-DDT experiments. They are playing with our lives. So are the government agencies and others who support their policies. This is wrong and immoral. And it is only one of the ways they use Africans as experimental laboratory animals.
Prepare for an ice age!
"Little ice ages" are the flip side of the 1500-year warming cycle. We should take advantage of the favorable climate we are currently enjoying to increase research on high-yield agriculture, biotechnology, water conservation and other advances now only dreamt of.
Howard Stern: 'Bring back DDT!'
Stern argues that New York's bedbug problem is nothing compared to the millions dying from malaria in Africa, quoting extensively from an article by CFACT's Paul Driessen.
New York's bedbugs vs. Africa's malaria crisis
Our obsession with pesticide “risks” has very different consequences for America and Africa.
How to save the Chesapeake Bay: Oysters vs. Regulations
Oysters kept the Bay clean in the past, but the EPA is ignoring this proven solution in favor of big government regulations.
New ethanol policy poses heavy cost for consumers
E15 ethanol mandates would bring huge benefits for ethanol producers at the expense of the rest of us.
Empowering the poor in the Yucatan jungle
Local villagers struggle to survive in Becan, but a new program promises to bring prosperity by unleashing their creativity and energy.
The global warming fleecing of the American taxpayer
The federal government has spent tens of billions of taxpayer dollars on research that has completely failed to affect temperatures or demonstrate an empirical link between human CO2 emissions and global warming.
Target: Monckton
Lord Monckton is under attack, a sure sign that he’s winning on warming. Monckton fights back and refutes Prof. Abraham.
New coal mine approved in Utah
In a victory for the nation’s beleaguered resources industry, Utah officials have approved a permit for a coal mine in their state.
EPA set to crack down on farm dust
Agency believes dust is a pollutant and wants to impose stringent limitations on the amount of dust farmers are allowed to kick up while plying their trade.
Climate Depot’s award hat trick
Marc Morano receives another award for his journalism covering the global warming movement.
Climate proposals threaten pursuit of happiness and justice
New study documents harmful effects of “cap-and-trade” and “endangerment” schemes.
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